Self-Care: Accepting Grace
Some days my kids are crazy. No, really. They’re loud and whiny and messy and they do things like kick me in the ribs and pinch me. And I wonder…why are they so out of control???
Usually the answer comes back to me.
The kids are not out of control. The kids are just being kids. The real issue those days is that I have no patience. My reserves are empty, my frustration levels are high and I realize that I’m behind on my self-care.
My self-care has two different tiers:
-The first tier is the things I try to incorporate into my daily routines that will help me have energy and a positive attitude. Things like: showering, drinking a cup of tea, texting/chatting on-line with a friend, sweeping the floor (yes, this really does count because I *hate* having crumbs stuck to my feet!), wearing clothes that make me happy, writing/journaling/blogging and listening to good music
-The second tier are things that need to happen on a regular basis for me to feel like a whole person and not just “mom.” These activities include: attending concerts (the picture is at Rainier’s first concert – Chris Thile and Michael Daves), having a discussion with Robin about something theoretical/philosophical, making an experimental meal, having people over for dinner, finishing a good book and shopping for a good deal at a thrift store.
When I am keeping up with my self-care I have so much more patience and also motivation to do the things that I want to do. Without self-care I feel like I’m always behind and so I don’t want to do anything!
This whole concept has become much more important since Rainier was born. For the first time in her life I’ve found myself incredibly frustrated with Ellie Jo and wondering if I’m really cut out for all of this. It’s so freeing to realize that I’m not going crazy and I just need to have a stimulating conversation or do something that nourishes MY soul. It’s impossible to fill up my kids when I have nothing to give. I make it my priority to be full, for their sake.